Wednesday, December 31, 2014

One man's quest for his fifteen minutes of fame - The New Yorker cartoon caption contest...

Each week, the New Yorker provides a cartoon in need of a caption. You, the reader, submit your caption, they choose three finalists, and you vote for your favorite. Any U.S. resident age eighteen or older can enter.

Enter the caption contest here.

Sunday, May 04, 2014

Contest #426

Mom said you were her Pete Something-Or-Other back in the day. Who?

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Contest #413

"I did not realize how pervasive this delayed-retirement phenomenon has become."

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Contest #406

"Thanks for coming on such short notice, 
but I'm expecting company any minute."

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Contest #405...

"Yes, Ma'am, it is a big f..king turkey."

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Contest #378

Long story.  Got drunk, punched a magician...

Sunday, September 02, 2012

Contest #347

"He comes free with our internet security subscription."

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Contest #344

"One last thing, please tell Mayor Bloomberg to hold his ground on big soda - it's important."

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Contest #343

"Lady, I've heard two millennia of excuses."

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Contest #342

"We lost Jeremy Lin."

The piggy at the complaint department is back. The New Yorker is republishing the cartoon featured—and mocked—in the 1998 Seinfeld episode, "The Cartoon." The magazine is asking readers for their ideas in this week's cartoon caption contest. In the episode from 14 years ago, Elaine gripes that the New Yorker cartoons make no sense, and submits a simpler one of her own that the magazine publishes. The joke is on her when it later turns out Elaine has accidentally plagiarized a Ziggy cartoon. Read More

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Contest #339

"I love my job, but the commute from Stamford is a bitch."

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Contest #318...

What lame-brain scheme have you hatched this time, you dumb cluck!

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Monday, December 26, 2011

Contest #316

This place was like heaven before The Cloud!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Contest #315

"And to think I was such a fan of his frozen brussel sprouts."

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Contest #314

"Things aren't so super these days."

Monday, December 05, 2011

Contest #313

I lost a sale and half my mustache because I 'unliked' them on Facebook.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011


"I was skeptical, Pierre, but you do turn a nifty double Cassoulet."

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Contest #291

So, I heard he caught you sexting his mistress.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Contest #290

And this chart tracks your moral profit & loss.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Contest #267

"Got anything that floats like a butterfly?"

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Contest #265

They'd like to substitute a Hemy for the baked potato.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Contest #264

"Subtlety, Edna, I so miss it."

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Contest #263

"I'd rather have Lionel Richie dancing down here, if you don't mind."

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Contest #254

"I dunno, I guess I'll play among the stars."

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Contest #250

"Hey, how cool is this!"

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Contest #236

"Well, this morning you're the egg man.  Two over easy and make it snappy."

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Contest #234

"I'm famished, too, Girl. Up for some lunch?"

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Contest #222

"It's a bit late now to decide you're a leg man."

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Contest #221

"I didn't know your sister was a cellist!"
"What goes on in the kitchen, stays ...."
"She used to play at the Russian Tea Room."
"YoYo Ma cancelled at the last minute, but Mary stepped in."
"Do we need to tip her out?"
"I've said for years the song works better in 'D' Minor."
"It's a fish reunion gig."
"Oh my, the drama of the daily catch."
"Is all of Europe like this?"
"Duck, Duck, Goose was always my favorite."
"Culinary artists, creative juices flowing, with nude cello."
"That catch of the day can be a wild ride."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Contest #220

"Clever indeed, but I'm still ordering the enema."

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Contest #219

"There be a whole lotta shakin' goin' on, Sir."

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Contest #218

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "So you're the infamous Sudsy Malone."
    Submitted by Dave Barber, Columbus, Ohio
  2. "Couldn't you just have had a last-meal request like everyone else?"
    Submitted by William Babula, Santa Rosa, Calif.
  3. "It says Martha Stewart once lived here."
    Submitted by Laurence Lytton, New York, N.Y.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Contest #217

"Look, I've embraced your stay-cation concept."

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "Don't worry, I ate lunch more than an hour ago."
    Submitted by Michael Cianfrani, San Francisco, Calif.
  2. "My wife won't let me put one in the back yard."
    Submitted by Claude Lempereur, Levittown, N.Y.
  3. "Make yourself useful—fake some Russian and hold up a 9.9."
    Submitted by Christopher Rulff, St. Paul, Minn.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Contest #216

"Sorry, I couldn't tell exactly what you were dreaming about."

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Contest #215

"And, finally, may I remind you... no biting, hitting below the belt, or stepping on me."

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "And, in this corner, also hailing from Chernobyl..."
    Submitted by Tim Herbert, Plainfield, N.H.
  2. "Very funny. Now give me the microphone."
    Submitted by Lawrence Wood, Chicago, Ill.
  3. "But, first, a word on foot odor."
    Submitted by Mike Egan, Syracuse, N.Y.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Contest #214

"You want to know about snow days?"
"Frankly, you're not head AND shoulders above your competition."

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "I'm afraid we need to make more cuts."
    Submitted by David Kessler, New York, N.Y.
  2. "Please use a coaster."
    Submitted by James Mulcahy, Thunder Bay, Ont.
  3. "I'm sorry I couldn't get more for you in the divorce settlement."
    Submitted by Rick Kaufman, Dover, N.H.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Contest #213

"I'm not loving your topic sentence."

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "They ignored your first ten. What makes you think you'll do any better with these?"
    Submitted by Bob Silverstein, Scarsdale, N.Y.
  2. "Dear ... diary ... She's ... finally ... asleep.... Oops."
    Submitted by William DiDio, White Plains, N.Y.
  3. "It needs a feisty female detective."
    Submitted by Lee Neville, Niagara Falls, N.Y.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Contest #209

"So I sez to the guy, go ahead, how deep can it be!"

The New Yorker picked:

  1. "Don't worry, he's covered by Aflac."
    Submitted by Grant Tate, Charlottesville, Va.
  2. “Thank God, Fashion Week is over.”
    Submitted by Dan Leciejewski, Walton, Ky.
  3. "We all deal with divorce in our own way."
    Submitted by Tom Horacek, Richmond, B.C.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Contest #208

"But I thought you said either oar!"

The New Yorker picked:
  1. “American car companies just can't make a decent hybrid.”
    Submitted by Eric Prestemon, Sunnyvale, Calif.
  2. “This would work out a lot better if we had kids.”
    Submitted by Michael Fossel, Hartford, Conn.
  3. “You know, everyone laughed at Noah, too.”
    Submitted by Rachel Pleasant Chambliss, Lakeland, Fla.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Contest #201

"My office is like the weather, so don't storm in here."

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Contest #200

"I think he's seriously pissed at you."

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "Sir, the competition is here to discuss the merger."
    Submitted by Tom Alburn, Wrightsville, Pa.
  2. "Oh, yeah, we go way back."
    Submitted by Patricia Radosevich-Coia, Reno, Nev.
  3. "He says he is known by many names."
    Submitted by George Nikas, Avondale Estates, Ga.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Contest #198

"Don't you think we should pick up dames later?"

The New Yorker picked:
  1. "That’s smart, Eddie. The first place cops look is in the trunk.”
    Submitted by David Wilkner, Pawtucket, R.I.
  2. "The instructions should have mentioned that you need a body of water.”
    Submitted by Peter Bleyleben, Chestnut Hill, Mass.
  3. "What do you mean you don't remember? Either he sleeps with the fishes or he don't."
    Submitted by Tim Wibert, Okemos, Mich.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Contest #196

"They're recent graduates of the Wharton School."

The New Yorker picked
  1. “O.K., let's slowly lower in the grant money.”
    Submitted by Todd Bearson, Arlington, Mass.
  2. “The research is conclusive—mice are even cuter when you dress them up in little coats.”
    Submitted by Brad Hodges, Dungannon, Ontario
  3. “Relax, for them it's publish and perish.”
    Submitted by David Burns, Needham, Mass.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Contest #193

"I, unlike you, have never been on this end before."

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Contest #192

"I'm SO excited to guest as your bimbo foil tonight!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Contest #189

"You should not drive or operate heavy machinery."