Sunday, December 31, 2006


"Kids, it's from to replace your deadbeat dad this Christmas!"

Sunday, December 17, 2006


"It's the whole Fox News thing."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Contest #78

"Unfortunately, it appears you're not really doing hard time, Harold."

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Contest #76

"They call us Indians because they are a geographically-challenged people."

"And to think we used to have them over for Thanksgiving."

Monday, October 16, 2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Contest #68

"The street is still unsure of the GM/Krispy Kreme merger."

"We plan to package them with Bob Dylan CDs at Starbucks."

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Contest #66

"We're bad-ass old school."

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Contest #65

"Sucked in by their institutional bling, Owens?"

"Dammit, Owens, you were appointed to look out for ME,
not these greedy institutional shareholders!"

Friday, September 01, 2006

Contest #64

"Think hard, Buster, a grammatical word indicating a single thing or unit."

"Think hard, Buster, two is the loneliest number since the number.....?"

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Contest #62

"Perhaps you're beginning to see it Ms. Bennett's way?"

"She'll break your wild, reckless spirit, Bennett, but then she'll build you back up."

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Contest #58

"And to think you wooed me with promises of a corner office."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Contest #54

"Oh my gosh, it's happy hour already?"

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Contest #53

"Stop being such a pest while I'm reading, dear."

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Contest #52

"I hate to correct you, honey, but it's a big fucking mammal."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Contest #51

"On the night of the 12th, did you, in fact, put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? "

"And just what makes so in-demand as a pop songwriter, Captain?"

"I refer to people's Exhibit B, 'or by crook', Your Honor."

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Contest #50

"If you fall in the forest, don't expect anyone to hear you."

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Contest #49

"And so the Baptist minister says to the rabbi, nice dreadlox."

"Yep, I got Cler-G & the Sermon of Funk playin' tonight."

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Contest #48

"Yours is a reckless style."

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Contest #47

"Technically, it's a buyer's market."

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Contest #41

"Come in, lest you thirst."

Monday, February 27, 2006

Contest #40

"And lastly, we couldn't even retire to Florida."

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Contest #39

"Yes, certain Nicole Kidman movies can be troublesome."

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Contest #37

"And at NO time did you use illegal human growth hormones?"

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Contest #36

"It's time to take ownership of my idleness."

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Contest #35

"I prefer a hint of d├ęcolletage."

Monday, January 09, 2006

Contest #34

"You were scarier in your Ron Jeremy costume."