Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Contest #174

"Don't you sometimes just want to sleep in?"

    Here's what The New Yorker selected:
  1. "I want to live at my dad's."
    Submitted by Sean Delaney of Stanardsville, VA
  2. "No, thanks—I only eat them on reality shows."
    Submitted by Sean Lee of Brooklyn, NY
  3. "Am I in your dream or are you in mine?"
    Submitted by Joe Sherlock of Omaha, NE

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Contest #173

"Competence. Bah, humbug !

    Here's what The New Yorker selected:
  1. "Who would have thought they'd actually give money to a bank!"
    Submitted by Michael Jensen of New Rochelle, N.Y.
  2. "At the next bailout, let's also ask for a pony."
    Submitted by Lynn Tudor of New York, N.Y.
  3. "Did you send your thank-you card to Congress?"
    Submitted by Harvey Kaslow of Pasadena, Calif.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Contest #171

"They're seasonally popular - synchronized high-kick gams."

    Here's what The New Yorker picked:
  1. "I'd suggest you keep them away from the gingerbread men."
    Submitted by Vincent Coca, Staten Island, N.Y.
  2. "It's not disturbing until someone wants to buy them by the ounce."
    Submitted by Steve Arrowood, Oceanside, Calif.
  3. "I did the choreography myself."
    Submitted by Donovan Reeve, Ypsilanti, Mich.

(jk: I'm sorry, but I disagree!)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Contest #170

"I decided to cash in my 401(k) while it was still worth something."

    Here's what The New Yorker picked:
  1. "I miss the cash bonuses."
    Submitted by Robert Becker of Northford, CT
  2. "I am useless until I have my morning turkey."
    Submitted by Corey Lowney of Wappingers Falls, NY
  3. "I was actually hoping for a boy."
    Submitted by Antonia Boyette of Los Angeles, CA

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Contest #169

"I'm so into flying Southwest."

    Here's what The New Yorker picked:
  1. "What makes you think I wouldn't be up for sushi?"
    Submitted by Neal Svalstad, El Cajon, Calif.
  2. "Remember the Alamo—now, that was a foreclosure!"
    Submitted by David Blume, New York, N.Y.
  3. "I can't say for sure, but I think the airline mixed up my luggage."
    Submitted by Mark Ashton, Elmhurst, Ill.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Contest #159

"Because it's IMPORTANT!"

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Contest #157

"We call it highest definition."

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Contest #156

So, my haberdasher says, "You've got the ankles for them, Marvin, go for it!"

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Contest #155

"I know you hate Kansas, honey, that's why we're all here."

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Contest #154

"Alas, we were a complicit board."

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Contest #152


Sunday, June 29, 2008

Contest #151

"The college boards is our Super Bowl."

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Contest #149

"I thought I'd might as well go ahead and JUMP for your love."

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Contest #148

"Did the perpetrator have any unique characteristics, Ma'am?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Contest #147

"Objection. Mammal.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Contest #146

"It says here that you're easily drawn.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Contest #142

"This is me. Anyone wanna share a cab up to accounting?"

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Contest #136

"Sage advice, you old bird, to spend our stimulus checks on Hillary."

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

Contest #134

"You've lost that lovin' feeling, whoa, that lovin' feeling."

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Contest #133

"Hey, how 'bout them Giants!"

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Friday, January 25, 2008

Contest #131

"Looks like no golf today, honey."

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Contest #130

"I've had worse suitors."

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Contest #129

"I think he's just a metaphor."

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Contest #128

" I suppose they could have mentioned it."
"Yes, I have."
"Remember when he was just a little guy, relatively speaking?"