Contest #95

"We are fuzzy, just not warm and fuzzy."

Contest#94

Funny, the gods at Augusta National treated him similarly."

Contest#93

"Point noted, but I say let's think outside the box on this one."

Contest #92

"He's playing you for a fish, Harold."

Contest #91

"With invention, young man, comes responsibility."

Contest #90

"I hear she's leveraged up the kazoo."

Contest #89

"Sorry, can't party tonight. We're whipped."

Contest#88

"We are the human spam to your canine firewall."

Contest#87

"Whew, one more ring and I was a goner."

Contest#86

"One yearns for the subtlety of Tillinghast."

Contest#85

"Intellectual infidelity. How COULD you!"

Contest#84

"A bizarre twist on the Joe Cocker classic, I'd say."

Contest#83

"I thought I could handle proportion, but..."

"The plasma TV was my gateway appliance. I thought I could handle proportion. I couldn't."

"When my neighbor offered a hit of big-screen TV, I thought I could handle size. I couldn't.
But once I did toasters, I knew I needed help"

Contest#82

Contest#81

"I'm afraid my co-CEO, Walter Ego, is in the Bahamas."
"I'm afraid my brilliant alter ego is in the Bahamas."

Contest#80

"Kids, it's from match.com to replace your deadbeat dad this Christmas!"

Contest#79

"It's the whole Fox News thing."

Contest #78

"Unfortunately, it appears you're not really doing hard time, Harold."

Contest #77

Contest #76

"They call us Indians because they are a geographically-challenged people."

"And to think we used to have them over for Thanksgiving."

Contest #70

Contest #68

"The street is still unsure of the GM/Krispy Kreme merger."

"We plan to package them with Bob Dylan CDs at Starbucks."

Contest #66

"We're bad-ass old school."

Contest #65

"Sucked in by their institutional bling, Owens?"

"Dammit, Owens, you were appointed to look out for ME,
not these greedy institutional shareholders!"

Contest #64

"Think hard, Buster, a grammatical word indicating a single thing or unit."

"Think hard, Buster, two is the loneliest number since the number.....?"

Contest #62

"Perhaps you're beginning to see it Ms. Bennett's way?"


"She'll break your wild, reckless spirit, Bennett, but then she'll build you back up."

Contest #61

Contest #59

Contest #58

"And to think you wooed me with promises of a corner office."

Contest #57

Contest #56

Contest #54

"Oh my gosh, it's happy hour already?"

Contest #53

"Stop being such a pest while I'm reading, dear."

Contest #52

"I hate to correct you, honey, but it's a big fucking mammal."

Contest #51

"On the night of the 12th, did you, in fact, put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? "

"And just what makes so in-demand as a pop songwriter, Captain?"

"I refer to people's Exhibit B, 'or by crook', Your Honor."

Contest #50

"If you fall in the forest, don't expect anyone to hear you."

Contest #49

"And so the Baptist minister says to the rabbi, nice dreadlox."

"Yep, I got Cler-G & the Sermon of Funk playin' tonight."

Contest #48

"Yours is a reckless style."

Contest #47

"Technically, it's a buyer's market."

Contest #44

Contest #43

Contest #42

Contest #41

"Come in, lest you thirst."

Contest #40

"And lastly, we couldn't even retire to Florida."

Contest #39

"Yes, certain Nicole Kidman movies can be troublesome."

Contest #38

Contest #37

"And at NO time did you use illegal human growth hormones?"

Contest #36

"It's time to take ownership of my idleness."

Contest #35

"I prefer a hint of décolletage."

Contest #34

"You were scarier in your Ron Jeremy costume."